That boy in the image was me, and in many ways still is. While the hyperactivity has mostly ceased (and only seemed like hyperactivity when I was in a situation not in my control such as a classroom or employment setting) I still struggle with extended focus. Teachers would tell my parents, “He’s a bright and likable child but he can’t sit still for long and disrupts others as they do their schoolwork.” This was discussed with me but mostly in punishing terms while I had no idea what made me the way I was, much less how to change it. A recent article described it this way, “Having ADHD and developing into a functional adult is like a cross-country run while wearing a backpack full of rocks. It’s doable, but you won’t be as fast, and you’ll be more exhausted and drained by the process.” Spot on for me. It’s like a mental Charlie horse you too-frequently must get up and walk off for relief, very temporary relief at that. And this says nothing about depression and anxiety, other layers often found in this unappealing cake. How I ever graduated from the University of California remains an unsolved mystery to me. Later, this “condition” made professional productivity, where hours of single-objective concentration was required, a virtual impossibility. I tried Adderall some years ago and, while it worked by increasing focus, it also made me an irritable a**hole, and not very pleasant to be around when locked in a project. No solution there.
Fearing failure and criticism, I avoided jobs where my problem would reveal itself and likely lead to dismissal. It wasn’t long before I realized that to succeed in a career it would need to be one where control over the demands and activity were almost entirely of my choosing. Of course, that meant self-employment or homelessness. It wasn’t a difficult choice.
While I eventually found an esthetics practice a perfect fit for my attention-challenged brain, it all went south when I became an employer of others. I was suddenly saddled with responsibilities and details that demanded lots of dull, time-hungry focus. I was right back to a place I worked hard to evade. In other words, only partially competent while fully miserable.
So, here’s how it all worked out. I could write spa and esthetic business articles and develop training programs with ease so long as they could be delivered on a schedule that respected my needs. Practicing skincare was ideal as the clients changed regularly throughout the day. I sold off my spas and never returned to managing others. And I outsourced anything that twisted my mind into little knots, beginning with accounting. I don’t mind working social media, but if I must post 5 times a day to be effective with it, I will remain ineffective! Even supplying regular content to my social assistant can be a steep climb.
And yet I’ve succeeded.
The point is to define who you are by recognizing and honoring your strengths and weaknesses, at least the weaknesses that can’t be overcome through training and practice. Discover your professional best and do mostly that. Don’t compare yourself to others as that will largely prove to be an unfair and unhelpful contrast. In fact, if you see anything of yourself in this article, and I believe there are very many of us fitting this description, then compare yourself to me, someone who has dealt with similar impediments over a lifetime. You, too, can realize your dreams being just who you are. And learning who you are is the right place to begin!
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